Really late Borra Week 2012
by ninja-curry-girl
Summary: My horribly, HORRIBLY overdue submissions for Borra Week 2012. Rated T for mild adult themes and a fetus. Continuity-less and proud.
1. Day 1: Day Off

**DAY 1: DAY OFF**

Korra jumped upright in her bed. The sun was out! She was late! She couldn't believe it! Tenzin was going to be so –

No, wait. Today was her day off.

She sighed and flumped back down into her sheets and buried her head into her pillow. A day off. After weeks of returning the people's bending back and helping the council pacify the chaos in Republic City, Korra could finally get a break. She sighed. This Avatar stuff was _hard_. How did her past lives deal with it?

She felt her eyelids getting heavier. There was no point dwelling on that now; time to get some well-deserved rest.

_PEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYYY YYYYYYY!_

Or not.

The doors to her dorm room burst open, and the unholy noise got louder and louder. Korra squinted at the large shadow standing above her bed.

"Gooooooooood morning, Korra!"

Korra groaned. "Oh, Bolin, lemme go back to shleep."

"Aw, come on, this is late. Even for me! Hey, how did you like my morning music, huh?"

"Music?" Korra muttered, "That wuhsh music?!" Korra finally managed to properly open her eyes and saw Bolin looking down at her, a large metal instrument wrapped around his neck and shoulders. She sat up. "Bolin, is that a tsungi horn?"

"Yep!" Bolin grinned, "Commander's Bumi's giving me lessons. He says I've got _real_ talent! So what do you think?" The earthbender resumed blowing into the horn, and the awful noise commenced once more.

Korra blocked her ears with her palms and hid under her blanket.

"So, Korra," Bumi asked, "Can you play any music?"

Korra had slept in way past lunch time, and Bumi, Meelo and Bolin (along with Pabu, of course) had opted to keep her company while she ate. The food was cold, she was too hungry to wait for it to be warmed up, and she was too tired to heat it up herself. Nevertheless, Pema's cooking never failed to satisfy, and Korra found herself wanting to finish every last drop.

"Um, no," Korra admitted between a mouth full, "I guess I never had the chance, what with all that Avatar training and stuff. "

"What?! They never taught you how to play music?" Bumi tutted. "Shame on them! The Avatar, of all people, oughta know how to plunk out a tune!"

"Yeah!" Meelo exclaimed. He yanked at a hair on Pabu's tail and started plunking it.

"It's no big deal." Korra stuffed some more rice into her mouth. "It's just music, right?"

Bumi coughed and spat. "Just music?! Nonsense! Music is what brings the world together! What is the one language that all the nations spoke before languages were even invented? Music! Song and tunes! As my sister would tell you, you gotta feel the music to feel the love."

"Hey, maybe Korra can learn to play the tsungi horn too!" Bolin chipped in.

Bumi banged his fist on the table. "That's great idea! Let's do it now!"

"Now?" Korra looked down at her bowl, "But I'm eating!" But Bumi had already pulled out a horn and adjusted it around his shoulders.

"Bumi's the best player I've ever heard!" Bolin explained with bright eyes, "Man, I've never heard anyone so _good_!"

Before Korra knew it, her face was planted in the remnants of her rice. This was _not_ how a tsungi horn was meant to sound like.

* * *

The day was nearly over, and Korra felt like her eardrums had bled to death. Tomorrow it was back to work, and she hardly got the chance to enjoy her little holiday. Annoyed, she got to work with the airbending gates. With a gust of wind, the gates were sent spinning, and Korra weaved her way through the relic. She had conquered this one a long time ago, but now she had the added benefit of actually being able to airbend. She may have initially found the task frustrating, but now it had become something to take her mind off things.

She wished Mako or Asami were here. She would have felt better if they were with her; it would have been easier to bear the music. But Lin had offered Mako a job with the Republic City police, and Asami was busy trying to get Future Industries back on track after her father's arrest. Pema was taking care of the baby, Tenzin was at the council, and General Iroh had left with his division of the United Forces. By herself, with no one to keep her company, she felt like she was dealing with three big babies.

Korra landed gracefully on her feet. She sat down and stared at the spinning gates.

"That was pretty cool."

Korra turned around to see Bolin walking towards her. She checked her surroundings. Not a musical instrument in sight.

Bolin sat down next to her. "So, how was your time off today?"

"Fine," Korra lied. Bolin seemed happy, and she didn't have it in her to ruin his mood.

"You look exhausted," Bolin noted.

Korra looked at Bolin wearily. "Of course I'm tired, Bolin. I haven't had a break since Amon took the city. Even after the Equalists disbanded, I've been working non-stop. My brain feels like it's been turned to mush."

"But what about today? You had fun with the music and stuff, right?"

Korra sighed. "Sure," she mumbled, but her heart wasn't in it.

Bolin seemed to catch on to her contradicting tone. "You didn't like it, did you? Aw man, I _knew_ I'm no good! Maybe I just need a little more practice, that's al–"

"No, Bolin, it wasn't you! I just … needed a bit of a rest, that's all. Today was too … exciting."

"Oh." Bolin rubbed his chin. "Well, darn it."

Korra laughed. She looked up at the night sky. She felt much lighter now. Maybe a laugh was what she needed.

"So," Bolin nudged Korra's shoulder, "Here we are. Alone in the training fields. Just you and me."

Korra chuckled. "Bolin," she started.

"Two … alone people."

"Not this again."

"Together."

"Come on!"

"Alooone."

"Uh … I gotta head back to my room to sleep, so …"

"Aw, dip." Bolin snapped his fingers.

"Guess you got snubbed again," Korra smiled.

The grin disappeared from Bolin's face, but only for a quick fleeting moment. The smile came back, even broader this time, as Bolin lifted his arm and started to flex.

"How can the ladies snub this?" His attempt to kiss his muscles failed as he rolled over his head and onto his back.

Korra snickered and rolled over next to Bolin. The two of them lay on the ground, staring up at the stars in comfortable silence.

"Hey, Korra?" Bolin asked.

"Mhmm?"

"Do you think if Mako wasn't there, we could have … you know."

Oh no. She thought he was over all of that. Why was he asking her this now? "Bolin …"

"No, never mind. Just pretend like I didn't say that."

Korra sat up and crossed her arms. "Look, I'm with Mako and everything, and …"

"Korra."

"… Well, I'm really busy, you know. And now Mako's gone as well and I hardly ever see him …"

"Korra."

"… I'm just really confused right now alright? And my head hurts and …"

"Didn't I just tell you to forget about it?"

"… Maybe it could still work out, you know, if I just gave it a chance …"

"What?"

"… But I can't right? Because I'm with your brother and it'll just seem really wrong …"

"What did you just say?"

Korra blinked. Suddenly, Bolin was sitting upright and watching her intently. "Um, it'll seem wrong if …"

"No, no, before that."

"That things could still work out between us if we had the opportunity?"

It was almost as if someone was shining a light on him as his face brightened up and his eyes flitted all over her face, her words sinking into his brain.

But as much as she loved seeing him happy, she couldn't keep leading him on a false hope.

"I'm still with Mako though." She was looking away, but she could still hear Bolin sink back onto the ground.

"So …" Korra shivered, suddenly feeling very cold. When Bolin saw her kissing Mako after their first date, there were tears coming out of his nose. But now he just seemed … angry. "It's getting late," she sighed as she got up on her feet, "I'm gonna hit the sack."

Silence.

"Gotta wake up early for a council meeting tomorrow. Fun! Heh heh …"

Still no answer. Now this was just getting awkward.

"Well, good night."

This time she was greeted by a sighing noise: _Snooooooohre … memememememe …_

The guy was asleep.

Tenzin was woken by the sound of the piercing slap made when palm meets forehead.


	2. Day 2: Prank

**DAY 2: PRANK**

This was a new kind of war.

Earlier this morning, Bolin woke up as if it were any ordinary day. He splashed his face with some water, slipped a shirt over his head and trudged over to the dining area.

"Morning," he yawned. He rubbed his eyes and blinked to find Mako, Tenzin, Pema, Jinora and every Air Acolyte in the room looking at him like he was crazy. "What? What are you looking at?"

"Um …" Mako coughed, "Bo, you …"

"I'm just going to take a walk for a bit and let you boys deal with this," Pema said, and she shuffled out of the room, Jinora promptly following suit.

"Hey guys," Korra walked in with Ikki, "I just saw Pema and Jinora and they looked kinda sick. What's going o–" Korra and Ikki took one look at Bolin and burst into chortling fits.

Bolin stared as the two girls handed each other a high five. "Okay … I am so confused right now."

Tenzin cleared his throat. "Perhaps you should go look in the mirror."

Still perplexed, Bolin headed to the nearest lavatory. And that was when he saw it.

His face was painted like a Kyoshi warrior … if a Kyoshi warrior had an uneven moustache and a goatee and sported a monocle made of kohl. Also featured on his face were two bright pink cheeks and a makeshift airbending master tattoo. There was nothing in this world _or_ the spirit world that could be so horrendous.

This was a new kind of war.

Korra's screams could be heard from the meditation pavilion.

"BOLIN! WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES?!"

Down by the courtyard, Mako looked questioningly at his younger brother, who was chuckling to himself.

"What can I say?" Bolin smiled, "The ladies just can't control themselves around me."

"Bolin," Mako sighed, "Give Korra her clothes back."

"Alright, alright," Bolin rolled his eyes, "Jeesh, Mako. I was gonna do that eventually."

He strolled over to the Sky Bison cave – Korra's constant screeching did not affect his speed in the least – and took the basket of clothes, now smelling, out of its hiding place. He carried it over to the women's dormitory, where an Air Acolyte greeted him and accepted his load. Bolin watched a wooden door slide open and a desperate hand reach out to yank the heap inside. Before long, the Avatar was out of her room, dry, fully clothed and glaring at Bolin.

"You stole my entire CLOSET?!" she hollered.

Bolin had nothing to say. Korra was just stating the obvious, and he could only stand there and act smug.

"Even my underwear?" she hissed.

"No way!" Bolin lifted his palms in the air. "I didn't touch that stuff." He shrugged, "I got Meelo to do it."

"You let Meelo rummage through my underwear."

"Well, I had a good reason to let him do that, but yeah, pretty much."

"Argh!" Korra growled, pulling at her hair. Fuming, she paced up and down the corridor until exactly 13 seconds later (Bolin counted), she stopped. "Why do I smell like Oogi?"

"Gotcha didn't I?"

"Oh, it's _on_, Bolin!" Korra grabbed the poor boy by his collar and lifted him off the ground. "It's on like … like …"

"Like …?"

"Um …"

"On … like Chong? Udon? Azulon?"

"It's on like … a saddle … that's on Naga's back! Yeah!" And with that, Korra dropped the earthbender, stomped into her room and slammed the doors shut.

"That," Bolin shook his head, "Was terrible."

Training was hard work. Sure, the end result may have been worth it – the screaming fan-girls, the roses flying at your face – but that didn't mean Bolin had to enjoy _this_ part of the pro-bender's life.

Perhaps this was the reason why the noodles Asami had just brought him had never tasted any better.

"You're hungry," the older girl noted. It was a fair observation; Bolin was downing those noodles faster than Asami could say her own name.

"Chraing sho har'," Bolin said between mouthfuls, "An' shish goo'."

Asami rolled her eyes. "Alright, Bolin," she smiled, "Whatever you like."

"Did you get some of those for me?" a voice asked. Korra sat down next to Bolin.

"Oh, Korra!" Asami exclaimed, "If I'd known you were coming I'd have got you some …"

"Nah, it's fine. I think Bolin needs it more than I do, anyway."

The pro-bender responded with a bright "Mnph!" and continued to devour his meal.

"Alright," Asami said, getting up, "I've got a meeting scheduled in a bit, so I'm heading off. You two have fun."

A "We will!" and another "Mnph!" came in response as Asami flipped her hair, gave a little wave and walked out of the gym.

_Slurp!_ Bolin finally ate the (extremely satisfying) noodle box clean. He was licking his lips, savouring the last bit of flavour, when Korra suddenly grabbed him by the shoulders.

"Okay, now that Asami's gone there's something I need to tell you."

"Um …" Bolin looked around, "Okay?"

The look on her face was terrifying. Bolin had never seen her look so fierce, so … intense. Her hands on his shoulders were hard; she could easily break his bones at any minute. She began to shake him. "I need you to promise me that you won't laugh."

"Why, what are yo–"

"_Promise me!_"

"O-okay!"

Korra's grip slackened and she relaxed a little. She looked down at her hands. "Bolin, there's something I've wanted to tell you for a long time now."

Bolin remained silent. He didn't quite know what to say.

Korra took a deep breath. "Bolin, I –"

"Um, if this is about the noodles then I'm really sorry. I was just really hungry and –"

"What? No! This isn't about … oh, just shut up, will you?"

"Oh! Sorry. I'll just stop talking now and, um, sit here. In silence. Not talking. Being –"

"Bolin."

"Okay, okay, shhhhh." Bolin put gave her a thumbs-up. "Got it."

Korra sighed and took another deep breath. "Bolin –"

"You called?"

"BOLIN!"

"Shhhhhhhhh."

Korra rubbed her eyes. "Just let me do this, okay?"

"Okay," Bolin whispered.

Korra closed her eyes, shook her head and started again. "BolinIloveyou,' she said quickly, her words all rushing out in one breath.

"Um … I didn't understand a word of what you just said."

Korra sighed. "Bolin," she said, grabbing her companion's hand, "I … I love you."

What? Could it possibly be? But she was still with Mako. Sure, they didn't have any time together and they had already started drifting apart … but surely she wasn't … she couldn't …

"This …"

"I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't have said anything. This is all just a big mistake."

"… This is _great_!"

"Huh?"

"Amazing! Korra," Bolin put a hand on the Avatar's shoulder, "I've always known we were perfect for each other."

"What?"

"I mean from the day I first met you, I just _knew_ we were gonna have something special."

"You did?"

"I mean look at us! Picture it! Don't we just make the cutest couple?"

"Uh …"

"A fearless earthbender who lived life hard on the streets just comes in and sweeps the great Avatar off her feet. Yeah, I can totally see the legends now."

"Bolin?"

"Yeah?"

"I was joking, you know."

Silence. "You were what?"

"I was joking." Korra shifted uncomfortably and scratched her head. "It was just a prank. I thought you were gonna freak out. It was supposed to be funny."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

There was a minute's silence before Bolin broke the ice. "Awkward …"

Korra sighed. "Asami, you can come out now."

Asami strolled into the room. "For the record, Korra, you _are_ a pretty good actor." She winked. "You could've fooled me."

This was a new kind of war.

Earlier this morning, Bolin woke up as if it were any ordinary day. He splashed his face with some water, slipped a shirt over his head and trudged over to the dining area.

"Morning," he yawned. He rubbed his eyes and blinked to find Mako, Tenzin, Pema, Jinora and every Air Acolyte in the room looking at him like he was crazy. "What? What are you looking at?"

"Um …" Mako coughed, "Bo, you …"

"I'm just going to take a walk for a bit and let you boys deal with this," Pema said, and she shuffled out of the room, Jinora promptly following suit.

"Hey guys," Korra walked in with Ikki, "I just saw Pema and Jinora and they looked kinda sick. What's going o–" Korra and Ikki took one look at Bolin and burst into chortling fits.

Bolin stared as the two girls handed each other a high five. "Okay … I am so confused right now."

Tenzin cleared his throat. "Perhaps you should go look in the mirror."

Still perplexed, Bolin headed to the nearest lavatory. And that was when he saw it.

His face was painted like a Kyoshi warrior … if a Kyoshi warrior had an uneven moustache and a goatee and sported a monocle made of kohl. Also featured on his face were two bright pink cheeks and a makeshift airbending master tattoo. There was nothing in this world _or_ the spirit world that could be so horrendous.

This was a new kind of war.

Korra's screams could be heard from the meditation pavilion.

"BOLIN! WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES?!"

Down by the courtyard, Mako looked questioningly at his younger brother, who was chuckling to himself.

"What can I say?" Bolin smiled, "The ladies just can't control themselves around me."

"Bolin," Mako sighed, "Give Korra her clothes back."

"Alright, alright," Bolin rolled his eyes, "Jeesh, Mako. I was gonna do that eventually."

He strolled over to the Sky Bison cave – Korra's constant screeching did not affect his speed in the least – and took the basket of clothes, now smelling, out of its hiding place. He carried it over to the women's dormitory, where an Air Acolyte greeted him and accepted his load. Bolin watched a wooden door slide open and a desperate hand reach out to yank the heap inside. Before long, the Avatar was out of her room, dry, fully clothed and glaring at Bolin.

"You stole my entire CLOSET?!" she hollered.

Bolin had nothing to say. Korra was just stating the obvious, and he could only stand there and act smug.

"Even my underwear?" she hissed.

"No way!" Bolin lifted his palms in the air. "I didn't touch that stuff." He shrugged, "I got Meelo to do it."

"You let Meelo rummage through my underwear."

"Well, I had a good reason to let him do that, but yeah, pretty much."

"Argh!" Korra growled, pulling at her hair. Fuming, she paced up and down the corridor until exactly 13 seconds later (Bolin counted), she stopped. "Why do I smell like Oogi?"

"Gotcha didn't I?"

"Oh, it's _on_, Bolin!" Korra grabbed the poor boy by his collar and lifted him off the ground. "It's on like … like …"

"Like …?"

"Um …"

"On … like Chong? Udon? Azulon?"

"It's on like … a saddle … that's on Naga's back! Yeah!" And with that, Korra dropped the earthbender, stomped into her room and slammed the doors shut.

"That," Bolin shook his head, "Was terrible."

Training was hard work. Sure, the end result may have been worth it – the screaming fan-girls, the roses flying at your face – but that didn't mean Bolin had to enjoy _this_ part of the pro-bender's life.

Perhaps this was the reason why the noodles Asami had just brought him had never tasted any better.

"You're hungry," the older girl noted. It was a fair observation; Bolin was downing those noodles faster than Asami could say her own name.

"Chraing sho har'," Bolin said between mouthfuls, "An' shish goo'."

Asami rolled her eyes. "Alright, Bolin," she smiled, "Whatever you like."

"Did you get some of those for me?" a voice asked. Korra sat down next to Bolin.

"Oh, Korra!" Asami exclaimed, "If I'd known you were coming I'd have got you some …"

"Nah, it's fine. I think Bolin needs it more than I do, anyway."

The pro-bender responded with a bright "Mnph!" and continued to devour his meal.

"Alright," Asami said, getting up, "I've got a meeting scheduled in a bit, so I'm heading off. You two have fun."

A "We will!" and another "Mnph!" came in response as Asami flipped her hair, gave a little wave and walked out of the gym.

_Slurp!_ Bolin finally ate the (extremely satisfying) noodle box clean. He was licking his lips, savouring the last bit of flavour, when Korra suddenly grabbed him by the shoulders.

"Okay, now that Asami's gone there's something I need to tell you."

"Um …" Bolin looked around, "Okay?"

The look on her face was terrifying. Bolin had never seen her look so fierce, so … intense. Her hands on his shoulders were hard; she could easily break his bones at any minute. She began to shake him. "I need you to promise me that you won't laugh."

"Why, what are yo–"

"_Promise me!_"

"O-okay!"

Korra's grip slackened and she relaxed a little. She looked down at her hands. "Bolin, there's something I've wanted to tell you for a long time now."

Bolin remained silent. He didn't quite know what to say.

Korra took a deep breath. "Bolin, I –"

"Um, if this is about the noodles then I'm really sorry. I was just really hungry and –"

"What? No! This isn't about … oh, just shut up, will you?"

"Oh! Sorry. I'll just stop talking now and, um, sit here. In silence. Not talking. Being –"

"Bolin."

"Okay, okay, shhhhh." Bolin put gave her a thumbs-up. "Got it."

Korra sighed and took another deep breath. "Bolin –"

"You called?"

"BOLIN!"

"Shhhhhhhhh."

Korra rubbed her eyes. "Just let me do this, okay?"

"Okay," Bolin whispered.

Korra closed her eyes, shook her head and started again. "BolinIloveyou,' she said quickly, her words all rushing out in one breath.

"Um … I didn't understand a word of what you just said."

Korra sighed. "Bolin," she said, grabbing her companion's hand, "I … I love you."

What? Could it possibly be? But she was still with Mako. Sure, they didn't have any time together and they had already started drifting apart … but surely she wasn't … she couldn't …

"This …"

"I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't have said anything. This is all just a big mistake."

"… This is _great_!"

"Huh?"

"Amazing! Korra," Bolin put a hand on the Avatar's shoulder, "I've always known we were perfect for each other."

"What?"

"I mean from the day I first met you, I just _knew_ we were gonna have something special."

"You did?"

"I mean look at us! Picture it! Don't we just make the cutest couple?"

"Uh …"

"A fearless earthbender who lived life hard on the streets just comes in and sweeps the great Avatar off her feet. Yeah, I can totally see the legends now."

"Bolin?"

"Yeah?"

"I was joking, you know."

Silence. "You were what?"

"I was joking." Korra shifted uncomfortably and scratched her head. "It was just a prank. I thought you were gonna freak out. It was supposed to be funny."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

There was a minute's silence before Bolin broke the ice. "Awkward …"

Korra sighed. "Asami, you can come out now."

Asami strolled into the room. "For the record, Korra, you _are_ a pretty good actor." She winked. "You could've fooled me."


	3. Day 3: Masquerade

**DAY 3: MASQUERADE**

All Korra knew about masquerade balls were that you needed to wear a mask.

So Korra came dressed as the Blue Spirit.

"Hello, sir," a deep voice said. A broad shouldered male strode up to her, clad in brown and green. His mask was large and flashy, but the stranding of hair curling over his forehead was a dead giveaway.

"What's up with your voice, Bolin?"

"K-Korra?!" Bolin resorted to speaking in his normal tones. "How did you know it was me?"

"I had a hunch."

Bolin sighed. "So … why are you dressed up as the Blue Spirit?"

"Well, they told me I needed a mask …"

"Oh, Korra …"

Korra scratched her head. "Yeah, well, I can't exactly just take my clothes off now, can I?"

Bolin remained silent. Korra looked in his direction and saw that the earthbender was … smirking.

"BOLIN!"


	4. Day 4: Mythology

A/N: Alright, I'm going to have to break my personal rule here (to never, _ever_ include an author's note until the very end of the story) but this is important, I swear. I believe that you, the reader, needs to know that this one is based on the Greek love story of Hades and Persephone. I know it's not really seen as a love story in ancient literature and those little "Greek Myths for Kids!" books you find at the library, but Hadesephone is my freaking OTP and I will _not_ stand down. (I came up with that ship name myself. You're welcome.) So without further ado, here is an odd, probably-not-very-good and completely-ignorant-of-both-the-Avatar-AND-Greek-myth-canon Greek mythology AU version of TLOK. Also known as Greek!Borra. (I just came up with that one off the top of my head. You're welcome.)

**DAY 4: MYTHOLOGY**

What Bolin wanted more than anything else in the world was to be free; to pick apples with his airbending nymph friends until the sun went down, and to feel his hair blowing in the breeze.

His mama Mako, however, had a different idea.

"Absolutely not!" Mako said. "You are not to frolic in the fields on your own. It's dangerous!" Mako lowered his voice to a whisper. "There are bad, scary women out there who will find you and steal you away from me."

"But mama Mako!" Bolin whined, "I wanna go play in the fields with Jinora and Ikki and Meelo! It's no fun when you're watching!"

"NO."

"Oh, mama Mako, I promise I'll be careful!"

"Never!" Mako crossed his arms. "I am never letting you out of my sights!"

One day, however, mama Mako _did_ let his boy out of his sights.

On this particular day, Bolin was minding his own business playing with his airbending nymph friends in the meadow, and Mako was minding his own business minding Bolin's business when he suddenly caught a whiff of Sato-chariots and amazing hair. He turned towards the direction of the scent to see the goddess of badassiness, Asami, beckoning him over. Distracted from taking care of his baby Bolin, Mako drifted towards to beautiful goddess with a dazed expression on his face, and began to chat her up.

Bolin, upon seeing that his mama was distracted, made a quick escape with his buddies. He wanted to go to the orchards, where he could really be free. He and his friends decided on a game of hide-and-seek.

"Alright!" Bolin said excitedly, "You guys hide and I'll seek you out, okay?"

"Ooh, ooh!" Ikki piped up, "You have to count to five hundred and thirty eight, okay?"

"Yeah!" Meelo kicked at a tree, "Five hundred and thirty eight, or you're a loser!"

So Bolin buried his head into an apple tree and counted, all the way to five hundred and thirty eight. When he was done, the nymphs were nowhere to be found.

As Bolin looked around, a hooded figure was watching him from the shadows. Korra, the great goddess of the Spirit world, gazed at Bolin as he flitted from tree to bush, searching for his playmates. 'What I would do that have that boy as my King,' Korra thought. And that was when she realised that he could have Bolin as his husband. She was the Queen of the Spirit world! She could have anything she wanted!

Korra melted into a crevice in the ground and bided her time. Bolin was wont to roam nearby; she could feel it. Sure enough, alone came Bolin, holding a basket of apples and crying for his friends.

"IKKIIIIII!" Bolin cooed, "JINOOOORAAAAA! MEELOOO!"

The ground cracked beneath his feet, and in fell Bolin and his basket of apples, falling and falling and falling right into Korra's strong arms. The opening in the ground above him closed up, and all the light disappeared.

"What … what am I doing here?" Bolin looked around. "Who are you?"

Korra set the boy down on the ground and stood above him, a tall and imposing figure. "I am Korra, Queen of the Spirit world. And you are going to be my husband."

Bolin trembled. Her voice was deep, almost melodic, and the Queen cut a beautiful figure. "But what if I don't want to be your husband?"

"You have no choice." And with that, Korra left him alone in that vast, empty cave under the ground.

Mama Mako had finished chatting up the pretty goddess, and went back to minding Bolin's business … except that there was no Bolin to mind. The man started to get worried.

"Bolin?" Mako called, "Bo? BOLIN!"

He searched for hours, and then for days. He found the three airbending nymphs, still hiding and wondering when Bolin was going to come find them. But the boy himself was nowhere to be found. Mako grieved, crying out his baby's name in despair. "Bolin, Bolin, oh my dear Bolin!"

"Pssssst," the bushes called.

A confused Mako went to inspect the hissing bushes, trying to remember in his anguish whether bushes had the ability to hiss. But instead of a hissing bush, he found a filthy little ragamuffin hiding in the shrubs. It was Skoochy, the bush spirit.

"Skoochy!" Mako exclaimed, "Do you know where Bolin is?"

"Perhaps." Skoochy jumped out of the bush and rubbed his nose. "My memory's a little … foggy." He held out his hand. "Maybe you could help clear it up?"

Mako sighed and placed a few drachmas in Skoochy's open palm.

"Yeah, I saw him. A couple of days ago, he was hanging 'round the orchards with his farting nymph friends. And then …"

Mako dropped a few more drachmas into his hand.

"The ground opened up and he fell in. Saw that Spirit Queen, Korra, runnin' around near there. I'll bet she took him. Now that's all you're getting from me!" And with that, Skoochy and his bush disappeared in a heartbeat.

Mako couldn't believe his ears. Korra! The Spirit world! His baby didn't belong down there! And Mako wasn't powerful enough to enter Korra's realm.

Fortunately, he knew someone who was.

The wedding was a simple one. There weren't many guests, and the reception wasn't incredibly lively. But in the days that followed, Korra did her best to make her new husband happy. She made him a beautiful throne out of dead wood and precious metals. She planted a large garden specially where he could frolic and be free.

"You know," she would tell him every once in a while, "If you want anything, just tell me. I can get you whatever you ask for. Whatever makes you happy."

Bolin noticed this. He was scared of the Queen at first. But as he came to know her, he realised that she wasn't such a bad person after all. She was kind and tender, and she was clearly deeply in love with him. He could also see that she was very lonely. Being the Queen of the Spirit world was a difficult and friendless job. No one seemed to appreciate the hard work she put in.

As time went on, Bolin began to warm up to Korra. He decided to put on a happy face, only for her. He began to love her as a friend, and eventually as even more than that. But he still wasn't brave enough to admit this to his wife.

One day, thunder shook the Spirit world. Bolin ran to the throne room to find Korra face to face with the almighty goddess Lin, ruler of all the gods, and … mama Mako!

"Korra!" Mako fumed, "You stole my baby away from me! My precious little child who was too innocent for all the bad things in the world. And you made him your husband?!"

"Indeed," Lin frowned, and looked down at her clay tablet. "Let's see … destruction of public orchard property, abduction of a minor..." Lin threw the tablet on the ground. "You're in a whole mess of trouble, young lady."

Bolin watched as Korra's shoulders slumped. Lin decreed that Bolin would have to return above ground with Mako, and Korra would never be able to see him again. She spotted her King standing at the doorway and sighed. "Fine."

The great Queen had relented. Bolin knew that this would be the last day he saw her, the last day he had to show his love for her. He had to think quick … there must be something he could.

And that's when it hit him; the food! There was a storeroom full of bacui berries, and Korra had once warned him not to eat them.

"If you eat one of those," she had warned him, "You will never be able to leave this place."

He fled to the storeroom and grabbed a handful. He could hear Mako and Lin calling his name. He rushed towards them, popping the berries into his mouth one at a time. By the time he reached them, he had swallowed the sixth and last berry. Mako was beaming at him, and Korra sat dejectedly on her throne. Lin looked bored.

"Alright, kid," Lin said, "Time to get back to some sunshine."

Bolin took a deep breath and stood tall. "I can't go with you."

"WHAT?" Mako snapped. Korra sat a little higher in her seat and Lin rolled her eyes.

"What _now_?" she asked.

"I can't go with you," Bolin explained, "Because I've eaten from the Spirit world."

"SO?" Mako screeched.

"So if I've eaten from the Spirit world, I can't leave it. Right?"

Lin scratched her chin. "That is true –" she began to say, but she caught Mako crouching on the ground and gazing up at her with large, shiny golden eyes. "But I suppose we could make an exception here …"

"NO!" Korra hopped off her seat and stormed over to Lin. "Rules are rules. If he's eaten the food then he stays! That's how it works around here."

"You're right. There's no question abo–" Lin glanced over at Mako's innocent-kitten face and sighed. "Look, people, I'm sure we can make a deal here that results in a win-win situation, yes?"

Bolin crossed his arms. "I'm listening."

"Exactly what did you eat?"

"Just a few bacui berries."

"How many?"

"Six."

"Six. Alright, so you spend six months with your mama Mako and six with your wife, alright?"

"He spends six whole months here because he ate a few berries?!" Mako howled.

Lin massaged her temples. "Look, lady, I think you and the Queen have some serious in-law issues, so I'm just gonna let you two work it out, alright?" And with a snap of her fingers, she was gone.

From then on, Bolin spent six months in the Spirit world and six months with mama Mako. And Mako and Korra deal with their in-law issues to this very day.


	5. Day 5: Crime

**DAY 5: CRIME**

"Have you got the stuff?"

"Only if you've got what I asked for."

Korra sighed and placed the 200 yuans in Bolin's hand. "Now show me the goods."

"Whoa, tiger seal," Bolin held his money up. "I gotta count it first."

Korra tapped her foot impatiently as Bolin slowly flicked through the pay, note by note. "Twenty-one yuans, twenty-two yuans, twenty-three …"

"Seriously, Bolin?"

"Hey, math isn't my strong point, okay? Twenty-four yuans …"

Korra waited a three and a half minutes before Bolin had finished counting. "You're short by ten."

"You got me." She passed him the remainder of the price. "Now where is it?"

"Yeah, see, about that …"

"Oh, come _on_, Bolin!"

"No, no, I have it! It's just a complicated method, that's all."

"Complicated method?"

"Yeah, and maybe a sleazy source too …"

"Whom did you deal with _now_?"

"No one bad! Just … some contacts in the Triple Threats."

"The Triple Threats?!"

"They were the only guys I could get!"

"Bolin, I can't go into Triple Threat territory! I'm the Avatar!"

"… Oh." Bolin stroked his non-existent beard. "Disguise yourself?"

"Disguise myself?"

"Do you want your goods or not?"

"Oh, this? This is just my harmless and helpless Water Tribe cousin … Dorra."

"Dorra? Never heard that name coming from the Water Tribe before."

"She's an explorer."

The Triple Threat mobster was large, buff and frightfully hairy. They were standing in a shady alleyway outside a dim-lit doorway, and Korra was not the least bit comfortable. Her face was covered in (badly applied) make-up, and she was wearing an overcoat and a ridiculously large hat. It was the middle of summer in Republic City, and it was _hot_.

"An explorer, eh?" The hoodlum scratched his beard. "Where've you been?"

Korra opened her mouth to speak, but Bolin beat her to it. "She's mute. She can't talk."

The Avatar shot her companion a fierce glare, but gave him the benefit of doubt and remained silent. The mobster didn't seem to notice their exchange leaned back against the door.

"So … you two here for the package, Bolin? I thought you and your brother weren't into the criminal stuff."

Bolin cleared his throat and shifted uncomfortably. "Hey," he said nervously, "How about you just give us what we came for and we'll leave and get out of your way and never bother you again? Sound good? Does that sound good to you, Dorra?"

Korra nodded quickly.

"Oh no you don't." The big man grabbed the two by their arms, opened the door and dragged them into the dark room. A light bulb flickered on, and Korra and Bolin were blinded as they were dumped on the floor. Her vision was restored in a few seconds, and Korra could just about make out the mobster's figure retreating into a corridor.

"What have you got us into now, Bolin?" she hissed at her friend, who was still rubbing his eyes.

"Hey, don't worry," Bolin said, "I got it covered."

The gangster walked back in carrying a small crate. "Now," he said, "I've got your goods in this here crate, and I'm nice enough to make you a deal." He stepped forward and his shadow loomed over the two of them. "I'll give you what you need … but only if you dance for me."

The room was so silent, Korra could hear the crickets chirp outside. Once the mobster's message had sunk in, it took all of Korra's willpower not to breathe fire at the man's face.

"D-dance?!" Bolin yelped.

"That's right," the man smirked. "You two make a pretty cute couple. So dance."

"What do you mean, cute couple?" Korra nudged him not-quite-so-gently on the side. "Ow! I mean … _hey_! You can't just do that!"

"Do you want the crate or not?"

Bolin turned to Korra and looked at her for assistance. She sighed (mentally). If only the idiot had not broadcasted to the Triple Threats that she was mute. She could've easily disguised herself as a firebender friend of his, but no … she had to be Dorra, his mute explorer cousin from the Water Tribe. _Dorra_, of all things! She looked into his pleading jade eyes. She had never been able to fully appreciate how beautiful they were. The green was bright, yet not overly so, and it made Korra think grass and sunshine and meadows where she and Bolin would roll around and …

Korra gave herself a mental slap and snapped back to reality. She focused on the task at hand. _Earthbend our butts out of here_, Korra tried to communicate to Bolin using mere brainpower. Surely this Avatar stuff meant she could do that, right?

The confusion written all over Bolin's face meant only one thing: he had absolutely no clue what she was trying to say. She sighed and gave him a small nod. There was nothing else she could do.

"Fine." Bolin got to his feet. "Dorra? Let's dance!"

Korra hissed.

"Sorry!"

She wasn't used to this kind of dancing. Back in the Water Tribe, dancing meant drums and hollering and lots of jumping and flailing of the arms. But in Republic City, it was an entirely different story. This was a lot more intimate; Bolin had one arm around her waist, and she had to keep one on his shoulder, and they had to sway gently to jazzy, modern music. And, unfortunately, neither of them was good at it.

"Ouch!"

Korra looked at Bolin, trying to make as apologetic a pout as she possible could. This was the seventh time Korra had stepped on his foot – that was two more times than Bolin had stepped on hers. She didn't understand why this odd mobster was so keen on watching them dance together. She shuddered; she didn't even want to think about the reasons why.

The earthbender was huge. Korra found it odd that she had never noticed it before. They spent a lot of time with each other in practice and at friendly outings, but after all this time she never realised how large he was. She had never recalled his shoulders being so hard and firm; she always remembered him being more like a cushion or a pillow. But, she supposed, what bends rock must be built like rock.

Another sharp pain in her foot. Korra growled just loud enough for Bolin to hear.

"Sorry!"

"That's enough!" the mobster thundered. Both Bolin and Korra snatched their hands away and immediately stepped away from each other. "You kids were terrible! Why, my gran gran could dance better than that!" He shook his head and smiled. "But the amount of discomfort going on between you two was amusing, so I'm going to give you a six out of ten."

"So can we go now – ow!" Korra jabbed her elbow in Bolin's side again. She was not leaving without her package. "With the package! I mean, _with_ the package, jeez!"

Korra lay on the floor of her bedroom, exhausted, while Bolin greedily prepared the contents of their crate. The box was surprisingly heavy, and Korra and Bolin had to take turns carrying it on the way back. Sneaking it into the island and the women's dormitory was an entirely different level of tricky, and there was the matter of stealing some extra things from the pantry, but the results were worth it. She stared at her earthbender companion, his brow furrowed in concentration as he concocted their snack. How she would love it if he could tend for her like this for the rest of her life … Korra blinked. Why did she just think that?

"Korra?" Bolin interrupted her thoughts, "I think I'm going to need a fire here, so if you wouldn't mind …"

The Avatar was one step ahead of him. She procured a flame and cupped it in her hands, reaching over to hold it under Bolin's pot.

All this trouble for a bowl of tentacle soup.


	6. Day 6: Surprise

**DAY 6: SURPRISE**

Korra was woken by something warm and wet on her lips. She squinted in the bright morning light, and it was enough to make out that the thing on her mouth was small and pink. A tongue.

"Who –" she started to say, but as her mouth opened wide enough, the tongue slid inside of her mouth. Now she was awake.

She sat straight up in bed. "Bolin, what are–"

And that was when she saw her friend holding up a mess of red and white fur, a tongue sticking out of its face.

"Surprise!" Bolin grinned, holding Pabu higher.

"BOLIN, I AM GOING TO CUT THAT STUPID LITTLE GRIN OFF YOUR STUPID LITTLE FACE AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR–"


	7. Day 7: Moonlight

**DAY 7: MOONLIGHT**

Over the seventy years since the defeat of Fire Lord Ozai, the moon had come to be a symbol of amour. Romances would spark and relationships would be consummated. Couples would wander hand in hand, shivering with excitement of the mere thought of being together. Timid looks would go back and forth, kisses exchanged, and perhaps a little more. Lovers would oft seek blessing from the moon, wishing for good luck and smooth sailing to come.

Korra, however, was raging.

"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DID THIS TO ME!" she spat at Bolin.

"Calm down," Bolin said coolly. "It's alright. This is what we wanted, remember?"

"Yeah, well, maybe I don't want it anymore! Have you thought of that?"

"Now, now …"

"Don't you 'now now' me! You have no right to 'now now' me!"

"Come on, Korra …"

"THERE IS A THING GROWING INSIDE OF ME AND I WANT IT OUT. RIGHT _NOW_!"

"It'll be out in a few months! We just have to be patient."

"THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!"

"Alright, it's all my fault. Could you please keep your voice down?"

"I DON'T WANT TO BE PREGNANT ANYMORE!"

Mako watched the couple in amusement. He could remember his own wife's pregnancy. She had been scared … but never quite like this.

"Okay, deep breaths," Bolin urged calmly, holding his wife's shoulders, "One … two …"

_Urp … blaarrghhhhhhhh._

Korra looked at the mess she had made on Bolin's shirt and squirmed. "Sorry," she said sheepishly.

Bolin sighed. "It's fine, I can clean it. You just … concentrate on breathing."

A rather hesitant Air Acolyte took Bolin's position as he stood up and walked towards the doorway, where his brother stood. Mako cringed at the stain. It spread from the crook of his arm and stopped just above his hip. _Putrid_.

"Couldn't she have spewed elsewhere?" Bolin muttered.

Mako grinned. "All part of being a man, Bo."

"Oh, shut up, Mako."


	8. Acknowledgements

_WARNING: I've already rated this story 'T', but my notes sections are known to be a little more explicit than the story itself. So read at your own risk._

* * *

I used to have this massive chapter at the start where I explained myself, but then I realised people were not reading this story for that reason, so I got rid of it.

I write this because there are not enough humour-centric Borra fics out there. There's lots of great fluff, and great smut, but humour? Not so much.

Onto notes! Lalalalala.

Note 1: Okay … so they weren't all exactly Borra fics … it's difficult trying to keep a good balance of humour and fluff, and since I was definitely focusing on the humour here, the fluff and romance might have been pushed out of the way a little bit. Sorry. But I assure you that Borra is definitely implied in ALL of these stories, and if you really want to see it, you will. (Same goes for if you don't really want to see it. If you want it to be just a friendship, then that's all it will be.)

Note 2: I … don't even know okay I just like the idea of Bumi playing the tsungi horn REALLY BADLY.

Note 3: And I also really like the thought of Bolin wearing make-up. Although why this is so is beyond me.

Note 4: Bolin is a teenage boy. No matter how sweet and kind and caring and adorable they may be, I can assure you that all teenage boys have a horny side that comes out once in a while. I would know. Some of my guy friends … * shudders *

Note 5: Day 3 and day 6 were really short. I know. Sorry. I got lazy.

Aaaaaaand that's all I got. I hope.

The Legend of Korra and all its characters and settings and whatnots belong to amazing people like Bryan and Mike and Joaquim and Ryu and so on. And I think I should mention Nickelodeon somewhere so … NICKELODEON.

Seriously, though, I don't understand the point of these disclaimers. It's called _fan_fiction for a reason.

Ninja out. Peace.


End file.
